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It truly is the greatest show on earth. It only arrives every four years but the battle for gold is well worth the wait. How it warms the soul to observe our amateurs competing on the world stage. Such dedication. Such commitment. No wonder they leave us breathless.
So drape yourself in that boxing kangaroo flag and give a hearty cheer - or, even better, a raucous rendition of "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi! Oi! Oi!" - for those skilled and ambitious competitors who sacrifice so much for Olympic glory.
Our politicians.
Don't sneer. That's the problem with this country. We're far too cynical and distrusting of our political class to appreciate the extraordinary courage required to hand over almost half a billion dollars of taxpayer money to a bunch of sports no one cares or thinks about that much.
With our hospitals at breaking point, our schools underfunded and families across the nation struggling under the yoke of inflation, it takes a special kind of bravery to plunge your hand into the public coffers and bestow enormous sums of cash on synchronised swimmers, skateboarders and archers.
But that's the sort of backbone we've come to appreciate from the Albanese government. With the Paris Games just weeks away, its announcement of a two-year Olympic funding boost worth almost $500 million continues a proud Australian tradition of spending out of all proportion on sport.
Don't complain. That's another problem with this country. Bloody naysayers, muttering about bread and circuses and demanding a return on investment. Isn't it enough for us to bask in the glory of a silver medal in BMX freestyle or even a bronze in breakdancing when that time-honoured sport finally makes its debut in Paris?
What's that, you say? You've been hunched over a calculator and discovered this latest Olympic funding initiative is just a drop in the ocean compared to what we will outlay on sport in the coming years? Billions to be spent on the already debt-laden Brisbane Olympics in 2032? Hundreds of millions more to be allocated toward new football stadiums around the country? A potential new NRL team in Papua New Guinea to benefit from $600 million in taxpayer money?
And you're critical of this? How un-Australian of you. Seen your type standing in line at the Bunnings sausage sizzle complaining about the lack of vegetarian options. No passion for this country or its grand traditions. Eat a meat pie with cutlery, do you?
Next you'll be asking why young people who spend years training to be doctors, nurses and other caregivers are forced to pay back six-figure HECS debts while our publicly-funded athletes face no such accountability.
Please. Why should we hold athletes financially responsible when they already carry the crippling weight of the nation's expectations on their shoulders?
I know a young man who recently graduated with a physiotherapy degree. He plans a career devoted to helping older Australians learn to walk again after suffering strokes. He's one of your mob, complaining loudly and constantly about how it will take forever to pay off his debts and how unfair it is that athletes are not burdened with the same requirement.
Harden up, I told him. Not our fault you chose to pursue a career that will never secure you a lucrative breakfast cereal endorsement contract. Sure, you might give some old people hope by getting them back on their feet. But that achievement hardly compares to that triumphant feeling we all experience when our tireless athletes help Australia beat the Poms and New Zealanders in the Olympic medal tally.
But even that is never enough for people like you. Your arguments about our endless passion for spending what you say are absurd amounts on sport always end with claims that it's not worth it, that the money could be better spent elsewhere.
The hell with that. It's competing that matters. Who cares if various studies suggest we outlay almost $40 million for each Olympic gold medal? What does it matter if there is no evidence to show Olympic success leads to greater mass participation in sport?
This isn't about skewed priorities or grandstanding politicians photobombing welcome home parades for our athletes. And it's not about a country so insecure it will spend whatever it takes of our hard-earned tax dollars just to strut the world sporting stage.
It's about committing massive amounts of money to sport so we can all feel good about ourselves and momentarily distract us from the real problems in society.
No wonder the Albanese government agrees.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Should taxpayer funds be given to sporting organisations? Do you think athletes should pay back government funding when they achieve financial success? And what else is un-Australian apart from eating pies with cutlery and complaining about the cash we fork out for sport? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- COVID-19 cases continue to rise as a new variant FluQE wreaks havoc on Aussies this winter. The 'FLiRT' sublineages, including KP.2 and KP.3, stem from JN.1, which dominated infections early this year.
- Time-poor, cash-strapped parents and kids are turning their back on community sports. More than one third of children have told their parents they wanted to stop playing after-hours sport, research from Allianz Australia has found.
- Human remains have been found in a search for a 12-year-old girl who went missing after a suspected crocodile attack in a remote part of the Northern Territory. An extensive search was launched after the girl went missing while swimming at Mango Creek near Palumpa, about 360km south west of Darwin, late on Tuesday.
THEY SAID IT: "For the billions spent on the Olympics, a fraction could address critical social issues like housing and education." - Mary Pilon
YOU SAID IT: Veterinarians are leaving the profession in record numbers, many victims of compassion fatigue and financial hardship. Some are paying out of their own pockets to pay for the pet care owners can no longer afford. They are calls for government subsidies to help pensioners and low income earners pay their vet bills.
"Sound advice," writes David. "Pets provide an essential service and, no matter how much we do for them, they do more for us, in large multiples. Vets are another vital part of the equation and richly deserve our understanding and support. We'd be as lost without them as we are without our furry mates."
Lee writes: "We have an old pupper, 14 years of doggie life with us. We love her to bits. We have an amazing vet and our Bella is happy and healthy because of them. I have PTSD and she is my constant companion, she knows when I am going down and decides that is the time she will annoy me, demanding attention and walks if possible."
"We have a dachshund who rules the roost not by terror but by love," writes Arthur. "Fortunately we do not have a problem paying veterinary bills. The idea of Vetcare has a lot of merit but I doubt it would successfully compete with other priorities of the government. Private schemes are available but unfortunately those who cannot afford routine veterinary care for their pets cannot afford insurance for their pets. Sadly if a pet requires anything beyond routine care euthanasia is the only option. We had to wait for over a week to get a vet to treat a cow with a broken leg. Unfortunately the only option was euthanasia but the poor animal had to suffer a week with only TLC."
Meg writes: "You don't need six years of intensive, high-quality training to do many of the routine jobs vets are called on to do. Especially in rural areas, vet nurse practitioners could attend to many of the duties that vets are expected to cover, for instance making farm calls for routine jobs that require a high level of practical expertise. Nurse practitioners work for humans; why not vet nurse practitioners?"
"'Ten kittens have just been found in a garbage bag on the riverbank,' they said, writes Gaye. "'Can you take them in?' 'Yes, of course, bring them over,' we said. Amongst them was this scraggy Garfield looking critter that was yelling his head off! Three years later Fatcat Fred hasn't shut up and is now the size of a husky and absolutely the centre of our life."
Sue writes: "We have always had pets in our family and I hope always will. They have helped my sibling and I, and our kids, learn responsibility as well as being the source of friendship, comfort and endless delight. The benefit of pets in the family are endless. Vet bills are another matter but so too are the costs of pets. I think a subsidy system for vet fees is a terrific idea and one we should be exploring. Vets should be included in the professions which are given assistance for prac placement and fee payment. Their role in society has repercussions way beyond that of simply looking after the animals."